No More Marriage - Diddy

Okay, so I just posted a few days ago about how the value of marriage has decreased and how it just seems people don't do it anymore.

Well, I heard a while ago (from whisperers in ATL) that Diddy and Kim were back together. (These whisperers are pretty reliable - they knew about Usher and Tameka back when Tameka still had the boutique and was still married, legally.)

So, now, Diddy tweeted late last night - and then deleted - that he got married. Peeps are already saying its Kim, so apparently people already knew he and Kim were back together. When I first heard that he got married, I assumed it was to Cassie cause I had forgotten that I heard he and Kim were back together.

Why I thought Cassie: Well, she's young and dumb. She would be well kept. Most older men like younger women to keep the sex frequent and good. Also, she'll probably not challenge him or his ways. Like I said, young and dumb.

Why I'm surprised its Kim: She's been though so much drama with him. Diddy left their long-term relationship for JLo way back when. Then they got back together and played family again by having the twins. But Diddy couldn't keep is "little man" in his pants and got another woman pregnant in ATL within the same year - so he has project triplets. (Diddy has a total of 5 kids, Justin, Christian, Jesse, Delila, and Chance (ATL baby girl). People think Kim's oldest son is his, but he's not - that's Al B Sure's son.) So, Kim finally left after the twins were about 6-9 months old. I really thought she was gone for good. She moved to the West Coast and from excerpts and reviews of her interview in Essence, she seemed like she had finally come to her senses. Guess not...

Why Diddy is getting married: I think he sees Jay married to B and wants the marriage thing. I think Jay is really good to B - I honestly think he's faithful to her...for now. Anyway, you know black men like to compete with each other and I think Diddy decided it was time to get married and he patched things up with the only woman he has truly loved (other than JLo - y'all know he loved her...even wrote a song and remix about her)...so he patched things up with the woman he loves that he can have.

So, this just proves that marriage happens when THE MAN WANTS IT TO. Y'all know they would've been married if Kim had her way about 10 years ago.

Now, the question is: will it last? Hmmm....the odds are more against this one that they were on Bobby and Whitney, who lasted about 11 years. I give this 11 months.

Your thoughts?

UPDATE: Diddy says he did not get married - it was drunk tweeting. Hmmm.....either he's lying cause they want peeps out their business and Kim's embarrassed or he married Cassie and they want to keep it hush cause he knows he ain't got no business with her legally like that or he really did not get married and was pissy drunk...who knows? But why tweet that!??! Can't wait for an interview where he addresses this after he and his many assistants and publicists have time to come up with a good story. Twitter gets more peeps in trouble than it helps them. I suspect celebs will stop tweeting in 2010 if they are smart, which clearly many of them ain't too bright. LOL!

No More Marriage

Marriage is not very appealing anymore. So many cheaters out there. Steve McNair. Tiger Woods. The next door neighbor who attends church every Sunday and whose wife goes on mission trips. So sad. Yes, I named all men cause I don't know any women who have cheated on their husbands. Not saying they don't exist, but I don't know of any. Inform me, if you do.

Where I am, most men get married cause she's pregnant. Nine times out of ten, I think the woman planned this. You know when you got a good one who will "do the right thing." Since you're on a timeline and he's not moving fast enough you lay off the birth control and convince him to stop using his protection, neither of those two are hard to do, at all. Getting a man to marry you, now that's hard.

In Hollywood and even in regular life, people are having babies like its nothing! A year into a relationship, they are having a baby. Babies with no marriage. I will not have a man's baby after only a year in the relationship. I do not plan to have a man's baby unless I"m married. Plan, I say. If I'm 33, not married, and want a child......that may change, but we'll discuss that when I get there.

So, what do you think about these people just popping out babies with these people they barely know? What do you think of marriage with all this cheating going on? What do you think of marriages that have occurred due to pregnancy?

I Have Daddy Issues

I have a very controling, sometimes hateful, dad. He and I love each other very much but I hate his ways. He has physically abused my mother a few times....and she stayed. He has talked down to hear....and she stayed. He has upset her on several occasions.....and she stayed. He does not appreciate her the way he should....and she stays. He does not fix up the house or make the repairs to make her life easy....and she says nothing. He does not love or think my younger brother is as great as me and it shows....and Mom says nothing to him.

Due to my experiences as a child watching all this, I have issues that affect me as an adult. My dad did not sexually abuse me, so I did not become a stripper. But my dad controlled our house and allowed no one to say anything, so I now voice my opinion all the time and can't control my emotions because I've had to swallow so much that I am at capacity. So I became an angry, black woman.

I'm working on this. I'm trying, y'all. I'm praying. I'm taking deep breaths. I'm just trying to suppress the memories, but when your mom and brother still live in it, how can you just act like it does not exist? As he has aged, he has become much more mellow. He does not argue, holler, fuss at my mom anymore. I think he has really calmed down a lot. She has obviously let go of the past, but I have not. Also, he still holds a grudge against her for some financial issues she created ~15 years ago. It has all been fixed, but he is so selfish, now with her and my brother, who is sitll in high school. He always was easier on me and I have his personality, so he knows not to say too much to me. I get to him with the silent treatment and acting like he's not there.

I just want to see my brother go on to be a great success to prove to himself and my dad that he's great and I want my mom to get out of there. She does not deserve to live in that trashy house under his power until she dies.

Because of all of this, I WILL NOT let a man have ANY type of control or power over me. I work hard to be independent for this reason. Depending on ANYONE is not an option. Also, until I can get my dad's ways out of system ( i have his temper and angry ways) I will not get married - by choice. I have had men like my mom who want to ignore my issues and be with me, but I won't allow it. I will not repeat the cycle. I think its partially hereditary, but I just saw so much that I just don't know how to deal with my emotions. The smallest thing that someone says or does wrong affects me soooo much. This is going to send me to an early grave with the stress and anxiety. Pray for me y'all.

I'm working on this. I'm trying to find more things to enjoy in life. I'm exercising more. I'm finding new outlets to relieve stress and anger....exercise, yoga, kick boxing......any other ideas? When I'm at work, how do I stop things from bothering so much? What do I do?

Daddy's please love your families and treat them right. You just don't know the effect it has on the ENTIRE family.